WHY GOD!?!?

The "why" questions always plagued my mind when it came to choosing to believe in God and making the decision to walk out my faith.

Especially now days...with so many controversial topics on the table and so much pain in the world.

People who follow Christ can sometimes come across very judgmental, uncaring, close-minded and self-righteous. Right?!

I know we have all seen it...and maybe you have even experienced it first-hand...I know I have...many times...and I follow Jesus. I can't imagine how hurtful that would be to someone who doesn't believe.

(by the way...if you have ever felt this from me...I am deeply and unbelievably sorry and ask that you would forgive me...it would be very unintentional if it happened!)

Because of this...many people who don't know Jesus choose to stay away from a relationship with Him.

My prayer each day is that as I represent the love of Jesus...that people will not feel judged by what I say (because judgment is not my job anyways) but that they would feel Jesus' love through my actions.

It breaks my heart and causes me to constantly look at my own life and pray that I don't come across that way to ANYONE!

If I share anything about Him...it does not come from a heart of judgment...but from a deep place of love...because I want others to know and experience the amazing grace and love that I know.

The difficult part is that following Jesus can sometimes make people who don't follow Him feel uncomfortable to be around you. They know how you believe and they instantly feel like they can't be themselves...and it breaks my heart. I do TRY to live my life by the teachings and standards that God has set in His Word...BUT I in NO WAY think any less of someone who does not think like me! In fact, I love  people more who don't believe like me! Does that mean I agree with everything others do? Nope. But in the same way...people who don't believe like me don't have to agree with everything I do!

The way I believe is that God is our ONLY judge. I was not put on this earth to judge others...I was put here for the soul purpose of LOVING others and sharing what I believe!

If you don't choose to experience His love...that doesn't make me think ANY less of you! And I pray that you don't think any less of me for how I believe.

It is possible to show others respect even if they don't have the same belief system as you. 

Choosing to believe in God despite all the questions the world throws at you comes down to one simple thing.

Faith.

There are many times in my life when I have questioned God...actually, even more so after I made the decision to follow Him.

Here are some of my "why" questions...maybe you have some just like these!

Why did He allow my friend, who was a young girl, to die?

Why did He allow the man I loved to walk out on our engagement...?

Why are men and women being killed by police officers?

Why are police officers being killed?

Why are so many people stuck in sex trafficking?

Why so much abuse and loneliness in the world?!?!?!

WHY???

WHY?!?!!?!?!?

The questions can come at me like a raging storm!!!! Especially when you are crawling through a valley and the pain is threatening to overtake you!

BUT...

God never said that we would live in a world free from pain!!

In John 16:33 He says, "In this world you WILL have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."

He tells us very clearly that we WILL have trouble...but that He will overcome!

I will NEVER have all the answers to life's problems.

AND if I live in the "WHY" I will never experience life the way God intended me to live!

I don't know why bad things happen...

I don't know the "why" behind so many things in the Bible...

But I do know that once I CHOSE to put my trust in Him and made the decision to really seek Him...His power, love, mercy and grace were undeniable!

What "whys" do you have?

Seek Him with an open heart and mind

...and watch how He will give you the faith you need to navigate through all the questions life throws your way!


There is NOTHING that can compare to Jesus!


He is LOVE.




Oh how He loves you and me!

Doubt...

First of all...I am not writing this blog because I am walking through a painful season right now.
In fact, my heart is joyful and my hope is new! I am excited about life and the future!


I am writing this blog...because like so many people out there...I find myself questioning God at times...and I think it is important  that I am open and honest about my doubts! Faith isn't all peaches and cream! (trust me...it is hard at times to believe in something and stick to your convictions when the world pushes you)


When I say questioning...I don't mean just the kind when we are walking through pain (you know the kind where you are on the floor crying out...asking if He is even there listening to you...yikes! Those seasons are hard...)


I am talking about questions like...
 Are the stories in the Bible really true...
How could the Bible be translated this many times over the years and people not change it up a little...
If God is loving then why would only some go to heaven...
How on earth could there be a Creator...
If Christianity is true then that means a lot of other religions are wrong...so what does that mean for other people?
Why would God create cake and then not allow us to eat as much as we want and stay skinny!?!?! :)


You know...the kinds of questions that a lot of times keep people from seeking out a relationship with God.
I mean...I can't imagine not coming from a background in faith and then as an adult trying to understand all the Christian beliefs!
I was raised in a home where my dad was a Muslim and my mom was a Christian.
As hard as that was sometimes...I am so glad that my dad forced me to challenge my faith. I am also glad that my mom pushed me to deepen my faith.


This caused me to think deep about my faith...
This caused me to question what I believe...
This created doubt...which in turn created curiosity...


The doubt and curiosity took me to a point in life where I knew that I was going to either have to really seek out the answers...or I was going to live a life saying that I believed in God...but really not having any idea what that meant and not having a  relationship with who I claimed was my Creator.


I didn't know how to search for answers.
I didn't think that as I searched for God that I would actually get an answer...
Because...there is not a single person out there that has an answer to prove God!


The amazing that happened during that search...and what God wants to do in each of us is show Himself to us through His Word.
That sounds like a fluffy answer right. Like a church answer I know...blah, blah, blah...right?


All I can tell you is that if you are really wanting to understand God...
If you are searching for peace...
If you have an empty void inside of you that nothing seems to fill...
 Seeking Him out is the only way you are going to find those things!


I can promise you that you will not get all the answers to your questions.
I can promise you that you will still doubt things at times...
But I can also promise you that if you are really seeking Him out...if you are really trying to go deeper and understand God...and have an open heart...He will reveal Himself to you and give you the faith needed to fight your doubt!


Listen...even people who claim not to believe in anything...are choosing to have faith that there is nothing there! Choosing to believe that we came from nothing. I have so much respect for that though because I can't imagine not having the hope in God when my life falls apart! That takes faith too!


But for me...
Believing in God means peace in the middle of a storm...
Believing in God means I have hope no matter what happens..
It means that I have a purpose and it gives me passion to share Him with others! (Note: I said share Him with others...not judge others! I can't stand judgmental, self-righteous people)


Trust me...there will be times in life when you will need to cry out to God...if you haven't walked through a season like that yet...you will!
You will lose someone...
You will lose your job...
Someone will get sick...
Life is full of crazy things!


Don't wait for a painful experience to come your way to cry out to God.
Call out to Him now :)


 Seek the answers to your questions, doubts and fears...and He will reveal exactly what you need and the faith required to trust Him!




His love is peace.
His ways bring life.
His path leads to hope!


Oh how He loves you and me!

Moving Forward

  " Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10


Over the last year I have gone through some amazing highs and what felt like earth shattering lows in my life :)


During some of the really low seasons I have been blessed beyond measure by some pretty amazing friends and family that have carried me!


I have also been blessed by other friends who reached out to me...even though they were going through an even darker season than I was experiencing...and offered their care, support and encouragement! I have learned so much and gained so much perspective from people who are in the midst of suffering and still live their lives with joy, perspective and hope! (it makes me cry thinking about some of these amazing people)


I have truly seen what God means when He says we are to be His hands and feet and to care for others.


As time has gone on...and God has healed my heart...He has gently shown me that He does in fact use all things for His good. (of course we can't see that right away when the cloud of destruction makes our view foggy)


Each time God brings us through a trial...each time we overcome something that we think is sure to break us...we are able to look back at that trial...take a deep sigh...and praise God that He helped us make it through.
Does that mean we are thankful for the painful situation?
HECK NO!
But...if we choose to look at it with God's perspective...and cling to hope...then we can take that deep breath and praise God for getting us through and choose to grow from any pain we have walked through.


I know this amazing man and he was telling me the other day that has walked through some unbelievable things in his life. As we talked face to face and he shared his experiences with me...his eyes still held hope! He spoke with joy in the midst of pain...he laughed at times about making the best out of hard times...and he offered up a words of encouragement to me...even though his circumstances were far more than I could ever imagine walking through!
As he spoke he shared the pain...but also how the hope of a better day was sure to come! I have never met a man, or person for that matter, with such hope and optimism!


I realized through talking to him that this is where God can use our painful situations for His good.
Each trial you walk through...you can rest assured someone you know has or is walking through something similar and needs encouragement.
Your journey, although painful at times, can be the very thing that provides another human being with just enough hope to make it another day!


I am not happy about the painful circumstances I have walked through...but now that I have finally moved forward, closed the door and made the decision to accept God's will for my life...I can see hope for the first time!


My friend told me that you can be sad for a season...but don't live there!
Make the choice to seek out hope, perspective and ways to encourage others!


I am so blessed to have some amazing friends and family...and I am excited to move forward with hope and see what God has in store!

Great things in store!

A year ago.




Just a little over a year ago I was waiting to find out if Nylah Elizabeth would be my forever love.


I was praying for God's will to be done in our lives...even if that meant that our journey did not lead to adoption.


I remember the agony of waiting to hear from my case worker....
I remember treasuring each moment I had with Nylah...just in case it was my last.
I remember the struggle of wanting to keep her...but also resting and finding peace that if she were to go back to her birth mommy that God would allow my heart to heal.




Little did I know then that God would open all the doors for us to be together forever just a few short months later!






I remember during those months clinging to the my life verse. It is found in Jeremiah 33:3. It says, " Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."
  This verse was a daily reminder that even though I was living in a season of waiting and confusion...that the one assurance I had was in knowing that I could call on Him.
I could put my trust in the Creator of the Universe and know that He had my best interest at heart!


God taught me in that time if He were to close the door that I would have to find peace in Him and for Him to be enough.




I had to accept His will.
Not what I wanted.
Not what I thought was best.


I had to accept that whatever God did or didn't do...I was going to have peace in knowing that it was best for my life! (now that doesn't mean it would have been easy if things would have turned out differently)


Has God closed the doors to plans in your life that you thought for sure where meant to stay open?


Do you struggle in understanding what God has planned for your life?


Whatever season you find yourself in there is one thing you can know...God wants to use this time to draw you closer to Him! He wants to show you that His plans and His ways are so much better and greater than you can imagine!
Just like a parent protects their child from harmful situations by closing doors to rooms that might not be best for them to go into...God does the same for His children!


Don't focus on where you are at right now. Focus on what God can and will do with your life!


I never would have guessed that fostering my little baby girl would lead to adoption...
I never would have believed that I would be a single mom...
I never would have known I could love a tiny human this much...




But God knew.


He knows your story.
He has great things in store!!!
Trust Him.
He. Cares. For. YOU!!!!




Oh how He loves you and me!

My daughter...a daughter of the King!

Tonight as I was looking into the eyes of my daughter as I rocked her to sleep...I started to think about what she will be like when she is older.


Will she be goofy and funny...
Will she be an athlete...
Will she love going to the mall and getting pedis with me (I HOPE SO)...
Will she like to read...

As I thought about those things I knew that there was no way to know the answers. Those were all possibilities for her life...

As always...my mind started to drift to the heavier things that she will definitely have to face...

She will know insecurity...
She will know and face rejection...
She will face loss...
She will deal with hurt and fear and pain....

As my mind started to think on these things I held her tighter...
My eyes started to fill with tears at the thought of my tiny girl experiencing so much in her life.
Things that I can't protect her from.

As a mom my biggest fear is knowing that one day my baby will have to struggle in this life and I won't be able to do anything about it.

After she feel asleep I took her into her room and prayed over her.
As I prayed God's Spirit gave me a gentle reminder. This is what I heard Him say...

Nylah will face pain...but I am greater!
Nylah will face rejection...but I will help her overcome!
Nylah will face fears and doubts, but I will reminder her of who I AM!
Nylah will know insecurity, but as she leans into Me I will teach her that My love is greater than man's love.
Mechel...you can't protect her from this world, but you can prepare her for it by teaching her about Me!

There is no way that I can shelter Nylah from all the scary things the future holds. But I can teach her to love God, do good to others and walk in His ways.
The storms of life will come, but with the Lord's help she will overcome!

Oh how He loves you and me!
For all you ladies check out this video! You are a daughter of the King!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWi5iXnguTU

Unlocking the Bible's Power

When I started following Christ the Bible was really confusing to me.

I would hear Christians say all the time, " Just study the Bible and God will give you answers".

I thought...sure!!!!!!! (major sarcasm)

The Bible was full of confusing stories that really didn't have much to do with me.

I mean seriously...Jonah and the whale... (rolling my eyes here)

Beyond the crazy stories I just didn't get how I could hear from God and how He could direct me concerning the things I was facing in my life.

I would try over and over to read Scripture...but I would find myself lost. (just being honest here)

One day I happened to read an article on study/commentary Bibles and how they help you to read and understand the Bible better.

I decided to purchase one to see if it would help offer me some guidance.

A commentary Bible offers commentary at the bottom of each page in the Bible to help you understand and break down the verses you are reading.

For example...
Did you know that the book of Romans was written by Paul when he was probably on his 3rd missionary trip to Corinth...
Romans is actually a letter that Paul wrote to the Christians churches in Rome.
Paul actually delivered the letter to a woman(Go Women!!!), by the name of Phoebe, and commends her for her help. (Romans 16:1-2)

The commentary part is on the bottom

These are just three examples of how a commentary can help you to unlock some of the history and background of the Bible.

For me, that was really helpful in understanding the Bible better.

As I began to study with the commentary I found myself glued to the pages of Scripture just digging for more and more about what God did and how He wanted to reveal Himself to me.

I spent time researching what words meant. You know...those words like "propitiation" and "intercessor" and "transgression". I know I rehearsed those words for years as a child in memory verses...but I never really knew what they meant or how they applied to me!

As I did this the Bible and it's meaning started to leap off the pages.

I read verses like, " Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. I Corinthians 12:9-10

I would refer to this verse for strength and a reminder at how I needed to act when I was struggling with a difficult person at work. I would be reminded of the fact that as a follower of Christ we are held to a standard and to show others Christ's love!

So God was using the words of Paul to remind me how I should live and love now!

I know this might seem like a simple thing to some people...but I have heard so many people say that they struggle with knowing how to hear from God in the Bible.

There are so many different ways you can study, but I thought I would just write about what works for me in hopes that it helps someone to find a way to better connect to the Creator of this Universe!

His Word is so full of promises for our future...
It covers how we should live and walk and...how we should love others!

I encourage you to get a commentary Bible and see if it helps you to dive deeper!

He has so much He wants to tell you!

Oh how He loves you and me!

My thoughts on the Jenner topic...(fyi..long blog)

I rarely post anything on a controversial topic in the media because so much of my heart can’t truly be expressed in a post or blog…and I don’t want to confuse or distort anything on important topics. Especially when it has to do with someone’s life.

But…I have been so torn up about the Jenner topic for so many different reason that I felt I had to do my best to share.

Yesterday when I saw the Jenner photo for the first time…the first feeling I felt was sadness. Not just for what Jenner is facing, but for what I knew was to come from people in the Christian community. I knew that the hearts of so many would be affected. People who follow Christ and people who don’t.

I knew that there would be a lot of people in the religious world who would be coming at Jenner with love and peace and prayer…but I also know and saw people’s anger, hate and disgust towards Jenner.  My biggest fear was that people would focus so much on attacking Jenner instead of sharing their views and opinions (in a way that is respectful) on the topic… and they would allow their anger to negatively affect the way that God has called us to love.

I truly believe with all my heart that we can represent the message of Christ by walking and speaking in love!

Now...don’t hear me wrong!!!  I will stand up for my faith and stand firm on what is true based on the Word of God...but that does not mean I have to attack another person to prove God’s truth is right and sovereign. God has done that already.

We should share our beliefs!

We shouldn’t just agree with everyone.

We don’t have to go with the flow of society.

But I do believe we have to present the message of God’s Word with love, boldness, tact, strength, courage and hope without attacking someone.

We can use this opportunity to show the world God’s love by speaking in love and kindness about the situation.

After all, as followers of Christ we believe that kindness leads to repentance right? (Romans 2:4)

You might be angry. You might be experiencing a number of things, but the last thing the world needs is for people who call themselves Christians to speak out in hate, anger and disgust towards a person.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:12 that, “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Attacking Jenner is not the answer.

Speaking out boldly about God’s Truth and Love and getting on your knees in prayer is the answer!

 We can speak out all we want, but how much time are we devoting in our own personal prayer time for the healing and restoration of God’s people?

Are you praying about it as much as you are speaking about it?

Also, remember that we have all fallen short and need God’s grace, love and mercy!

I know personally that there was a time in my life that I was living in a way that did not represent what I confessed I believed.

So many people came at me. They said hateful things to me. Told me I was disgusting. (I could go on and on)

When people came at me like that it shut me down. I didn’t want to have any part of a faith that made me feel like I was dirty and sinful and bad. When they talked to me that way all I could think was, “well they are making feel awful…how could that be a loving God…”

It wasn’t until I lived with my little sister who walked in the true love of Christ that my life changed.

My sister prayed for me on her own.

She never forced me to believe or made me feel ugly or dirty.

She would share with me at times that she thought for my own well-being that I should think about making some changes...but she never made me feel bad for not making them.

She poured her life into me and built a relationship with me so she could start sharing with me what God was teaching her and showing her.

Because of that authentic love and faith my heart began to see something different in her. I didn’t see religion…I saw Christ.

Her loving and gentle approach didn’t change her bold stance and her standards…

What it did change was my heart and how I viewed Christ.

I began to see that Christ loved me for who I had been and who I was...and He ultimately wanted me to have a changed life for my good!

I believe this is what the world needs to see more of!

Of course there will be people that read this that will think by not getting angry and protesting and speaking out in hateful remarks that we are just condoning things of the world.

That is not the case at all. Be angry, be vocal, be strong and do not waiver…but spread the message of God’s love that will lead others to Him!

I Corinthians 13:1-2 says, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”

Speak out in love and be devoted to pray for our world.

God has the rest under control!

“Behold I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay everyone for what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and last, the beginning and the end. “ Revelation 22:12-13

 

Oh how He loves you and me!