Honesty...Honestly

I am going to be really honest in this blog. (oh brother)

Sometimes as a Christian it is hard to be honest and transparent about struggles and battles we face...because sometimes we want to uphold an appearance or seem stronger to people than we really are...or we are afraid we will be judged by people for goodness sake!

I want to be honest though...
I want to be transparent with battles and reality because I believe that if I don't then how in the world could anyone relate to me...
God has been teaching me through His Word and through people that I have been talking to that we have to be open and honest about the battles and at the same time share the open and honest truth about the victory we can find with God's help to overcome them.


So here we go...

One of the things I struggle with is the back and forth game of trying my hardest to follow the Lord.
Let me explain...
I really want to do all God has called me to do. Sincerely I do...but there is so much of the world around me that sometimes I drown out God with those things.

I know this might seem small to some of you (and it is not my biggest struggle) but I wrestle with watching regular TV shows that would be appropriate for my heart and mind. I have been watching Greys Anatomy for YEARS! I love the drama, intensity, love stories and the plot that always seems to unravel and catch me off guard! (if you are into TV dramas you get what I mean when I say "jaw dropping plots")

However, each time I  would watch it I would feel the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit telling me that this is not good for my heart and mind. There are some very inappropriate messages that are conveyed on the show...some very inappropriate scenes that are shown and some language that should not be used.
So why do I continue to watch it...?
To be honest...I like it!
Our nature is pulled to things like that! Why do you think reality TV shows with drama, sex and violence are so big now days...because our nature is attracted to those very things.
As a Christian though...when we ask Christ into our hearts to save us and change us from our old ways...we are taking on a New Nature...His nature!

For a long time I used to think that it was a burden to try and always be perfect and not do anything that was worldly so I could stay in tune with what God called me to do...

I felt like I had to be so careful and I was accused of being "legalistic" when I would give things up. (I hate that word by the way...) It felt like I couldn't win!

I am going to be real with you...it was weighty and I always felt guilty when I failed to live up to what I knew God wanted me to do.
Over time and after looking back I have recognized that I was doing it all in my own strength and I was doing it begrudgingly.

Kind of like if you have ever begrudgingly bought a gift for someone you love but you do it out of anger and frustration instead of love.
Your heart is not in the right place.

For me...what I realized is that my heart was never in the right place. I felt like God was asking too much out of me.
I live right...
I help people...
I serve faithfully...
I give and tithe...
So why would He ask me to give up something as simple as watching certain TV shows?

In the end God has shown me that He wasn't asking me stop those things to make my life harder. He gently and lovingly asks us to stay away from those things because He knows that it will protect our minds and hearts!

When I realized that... I started questioning if this show was really good for my heart and mind...
Instead of looking at it like God was trying to take something away I began to see it from a new perspective...God was trying to lead me away from things that would not lead to my Joy.
The show is entertaining...but is it beneficial for my heart?
The answer is NO.

Maybe you don't agree and that is okay. If I would have read this blog three weeks ago I would have disagreed too.
I still struggle with things that God is asking me to stop or start...I just wanted to post this to share with others and remind myself that when God calls us to do something it is to lead us to greater joy...even if for a short time it seems painful!

Maybe you are wrestling with some things that you feel God nudging you to move away from...
Maybe it is an addiction to something...
Maybe it is to stay away from a relationship...
Maybe it is how you spend your money...

He might even be calling you to step forward in an area...
Maybe to move forward in an area of ministry...but you are afraid.
Maybe it is to move forward with a job or a move...
Maybe to be more active and exercise more for your health...
Maybe it is to spend more time with your kids..
Maybe to start a new relationship that God has set before you but you are scared...

Whatever or wherever you feel like God is leading you I pray that you would surrender to His call.

It is not always easy...but it will lead to Joy!


Matthew 11:29-30 are words from Jesus that says, " Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Oh how He loves you and me!