A Perfectly Imperfect Parent

 Next month I will have had Nylah for a year!
I can't believe how fast time has gone by! I spent most of tonight watching videos of her when she was 9 months old (I was also crying and eating some chocolate. (I don't know what it is about eating chocolate when I am sad))

As I was watching those videos I started thinking about how hard things seemed to be when I first got her.
I was working full-time and trying to learn how to take care of a 9 month old. (those late nights and early mornings...yeesh!)
I didn't understand why she was crying at times.
I didn't know why she wouldn't eat her food when I thought it tasted great!
I didn't know a "gas pain" cry was different than a "hungry" cry.
I didn't know how to keep the house clean and manage to keep her fed, clean and happy.
I didn't know how to balance my social life with my mommy life...and my workout life for that matter.
It seemed like all I did from sunrise to sunset was take care of her, work, take care of her and work...
I had always promised myself I would be a mom that always wore cute clothes at home and woke up early enough to put my makeup on and wear my hair down.
One week into the mommy gig and I had broken all my vows...

I didn't notice it at the time...but I was treating motherhood like a job and not treating it like a privilege.
I am not sure if other parents have done this, but it was honestly the only thing I knew how to do in order to keep myself afloat!

Now don't get me wrong....I loved each day with her, but in order for my life to stay on track with work, parenting, and home life...I started treating each day like a job.
Of course there is nothing wrong with structure. I think it is important for kids to have structure in their day, but I started treating bath time like it was a duty instead of a joy.

I didn't know I was doing it at the time...
After several months of this I had a slight melt down. (you know...the kind where you just cry a bunch and can't quit crying)
I couldn't figure out why this mommy thing was so hard! (I am sure any parent reading this can understand)

As I looked at my life and my routine I realized that I had unknowingly been structuring so much of my day that I was losing out in the joy of the chaos! :)

I decided that there were some things I was going to have to let go...
I didn't have to have a clean house (in fact it was nearly impossible to have a clean house all the time and I was making myself miserable trying)
I didn't have to have my Bible study every morning before she woke up...God knows our hearts and it is perfectly fine to have it in the evening. (or at lunch time so you don't fall asleep from exhaustion at night)
I didn't have to rush in the morning and work out. Of course working out was important, but not at the expense of losing valuable cuddle moments with my girl.
I didn't have to rush bath time or reading time at night to get her to bed on time...bath time and reading time are special once in a lifetime moments!
I didn't have to look perfect to other moms...because the more honest I was about how hard things were...the more people would open and share the hard moments that they faced as well.

Being a single mom that worked full-time presented a lot of difficulties and joys. In fact, there are still days when I feel like I am going to cave under the pressure....but the most valuable thing I have learned is that you have to stop an enjoy each moment with your kids.
Looking back at those videos tonight really made me see that each year, day and moment we are given is such a privilege!
I can't imagine and don't want to imagine my life without her!

I used to think that my day had to be completely structured from minute to minute to keep us on schedule. I thought that this would make me the perfect mom.
I am so glad God showed me that it was in my imperfections I could find freedom to love her perfectly!

To all you moms and dads out there giving it all that you have each day...you are AMAZING!!!!!

But He said to me, " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.- 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

A Hedge of Protection

  As a woman in the workplace it is always my goal to walk in purity and set boundaries between me and people of the opposite sex. I work for a company that requires a lot of travel and I really want to guard myself from any situation that could potentially lead to harm. As I began to pray and seek the Lord on how to set good boundaries I came across this article by Nancy Leigh DeMoss that speaks on personal hedges of protection and how to act in a marriage. Even though I am not married yet, it is important as a single woman to set personal hedges of protection up in order to honor and glorify the Lord. This will also protect my dating relationship as well as the relationships of my co-workers and their spouses.

In this article my Nancy Leigh DeMoss she really hits the nail on the head on how we should set personal hedges of protection in any of our opposite sex relationships at work, church or school.

Some people that read this might think that it is very legalistic and too rigid...but I believe that God creates boundaries for our freedom and not to hold us back. By setting up personal hedges of protection you are able to walk in purity, honesty and freedom!
I hope you take the time to read over this article...I know that it has blessed my heart and given me tools at how to set boundaries as I work and interact with people of the opposite sex.

Personal "Hedges"

by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Staying Vigilant

As I have studied the Scripture, observed others’ lives, and seen deeper glimpses of my own heart over the years, I have come to realize that no one—no matter how spiritual—is exempt from the potential of succumbing to moral temptation. I have also become convinced that any woman can bring about the moral downfall of any man—no matter how godly. This is one area of our lives where we can never afford to be less than vigilant.

According to God’s Word, a vow is a serious, binding commitment to God and not to be made or taken lightly. I have only made a few vows to the Lord. One of those sacred commitments is the vow to be morally pure. This is such a serious matter to me, that I have asked the Lord to take my life before I would jeopardize a marriage or come between any man and his wife.

I have often been in a position where it would have been possible to cultivate an inappropriate relationship with a married man—or at the very least to make incremental compromises that could have fueled sinful desires in my own heart or in someone else’s heart.

Why Do We Need Personal “Hedges”?

Over the years, the Lord has led me to develop a set of “hedges” (boundaries) in relation to the men that I have served with and related to in various settings. Those hedges have been a powerful safeguard and protection—for my own heart, for those men and their marriages, for my reputation, and most importantly, for the reputation of Christ.

I have been blessed to serve alongside of many men who have strong hearts for God. But I never assume that I (or they) are beyond being tempted and falling. The Enemy eagerly looks for opportunities to cause God’s children to fall.

Let me explain the concept of “hedges” a bit more clearly. By “hedges,” I mean boundaries we establish in our relationships with individuals of the opposite sex. (My focus in this piece is particularly on our relationships as women with married men.) Just as hedges surround our property to protect and surround what is ours, and define what is not ours, we also need hedges in our relationships. Once those hedges are in place, they need to be carefully maintained.

Each woman needs to know her own areas of weakness and vulnerability— especially if she has not been morally pure in the past—and adjust her hedges as needed, for greater protection. My personal “hedges” have been developed as I have watched others—and myself, at times—deal with difficult or tempting circumstances in relationships with members of the opposite sex.

Another word picture I have found helpful is the concept of “guardrails.” Anyone who has driven on a narrow mountain road knows how crucial a guardrail is for safety. Staying within the guardrails provides protection from falling off the edge of the mountain, but it represents more than that; it represents freedom. Guardrails do indeed “restrict” us, but they also free us to drive without fear.

Restrictions or Protections?

For those who may consider these principles “legalistic,” I would suggest that farfrom being restrictive, these “hedges” have allowed me to enjoy healthy, wholesome friendships with the men with whom I work and serve, as well as with their wives and children. Adhering to these practices has allowed me to have a part in strengthening marriages and family relationships.

I am not suggesting that all of these “hedges” are biblical absolutes or that violating any of these would necessarily be sin. However, after seeing the anguish and heartbreak of broken marriage covenants brought about by the entrance of a “third party,” I have come to believe that these are wise parameters and that those who violate them do so at their own peril.

Helpful Guidelines

This is not an exhaustive list or a guarantee against infidelity. These are simply some of my personal “hedges”—principles that have served me well during many years of working alongside married men. It was never my intent to publish this list. However, as I have shared this concept of establishing personal “hedges,” I have often been asked if I would be willing to share mine.

Further, I have watched enough naïve or foolish women (and men) act in inappropriate ways toward the opposite sex—and then been called upon to pick up the wreckage left behind—that I felt it would be helpful to share these specific examples.

My “hedges” reflect my desire to be discreet and not to defraud the men around me—through my speech, actions, dress, or attitudes. To some who have been influenced by our permissive culture, these standards will probably seem excessive. To which I would simply ask: what’s it worth to you to avoid the devastating consequences of adultery? It’s hard to imagine how an adulterous relationship could develop if these precautions were maintained.

For those who don’t know me personally, you might think this approach borders on being obsessive. However, I have found that as I hold to biblical convictions and keep specific practical “hedges” of this nature in place, I don’t have to “obsess” about guarding my heart or having pure relationships. I can trust God to work in and through me as I relate to men in godliness, purity, and wisdom.

It is my prayer that God will lead you as you seek to establish effective “hedges” and “guardrails” for your own life, and that you will experience the freedom, joys, and blessings of “keeping your heart with all diligence.”

Practical “Hedges” in Working with Married Men

Most of my contact with married men has been in the context of the workplace— working and serving together in ministry. A huge percentage of emotional and physical “affairs” begin in the workplace.

The following “hedges” are specifically targeted toward relationships with married men in the workplace, but most could be applied more broadly to relationships in other settings, including the church, school, counseling situations, social or community groups, etc.

These “hedges” are not necessarily a measurement of spirituality—it would be possible to abide by a list twice this long and still have an impure heart or be guilty of self-righteousness. No “list” can be a substitute for sincere love for Christ and a heart to please Him.

This is not a comprehensive list; these are merely some practical guidelines that I have found to be helpful and would urge you to consider as you develop your own “hedges” for relationships and become accountable to God and others for maintaining them.

As a rule, the closer the working relationship with a married colleague of the opposite sex, the higher and more “inflexible” the hedges need to be.

Reduce Opportunities for Temptation or Accusation

• If it is necessary to meet alone, keep the door ajar or meet in a room with a window. Don’t meet in private places; be sure others are in the vicinity.

• Always have a third party if required to travel together. Don’t ride alone together in a vehicle.

• When traveling for business or ministry, stay on different floors of the hotel, unless he is accompanied by his wife.

• No meals together without a third party. (I realize that in many business settings, it is considered “standard practice” to meet, travel, or dine with members of the opposite sex. But I am convinced that is risky at best and foolish at worst. In our ministry, maintaining these particular hedges often requires inconvenience or additional expense. But it’s a small price to pay if you care about being above reproach morally, guarding your heart, protecting others’ marriages, and, above all, glorifying God.)

• Don’t flirt! Be careful about even “innocent” playfulness and teasing—especially when you are alone with each other. (He should have more “fun” with his wife than with any other woman!)

• Dress modestly. (Provocative clothing sends an invitation to a party you have no right to throw.)

• Keep your hands to yourself. Don’t invite, receive, or initiate intimate forms of physical contact (i.e., embracing, kissing, caressing, stroking, etc.).

Refuse to Participate in Conversations That May Damage Relationships

• Don’t listen to him speak critically of his wife. Praise his wife to him and others. Never criticize her to him or to others.

• Don’t provide a listening ear for him to share his marital difficulties or tensions at home.

• Don’t confide personal or emotional concerns unless his wife or a third party is present.

• Avoid expressing admiration for physical characteristics, clothing, etc.

• Have a grateful spirit, but be discreet and restrained in offering verbal or written encouragement, even for godly characteristics. His need/desire for admiration should appropriately be fueled by his wife!

• Be discreet and restrained in expressing admiration for him to others.

• No secrets! Don’t communicate anything to him (verbally or in writing) that you would not be comfortable with him sharing with his wife (unless you’re planning a surprise birthday party for her!). Never ask that he refrain from sharing something with his wife.

• In written and verbal communication, include references to his wife (e.g., “How is _______ doing?” “Tell ______ I said ‘hello.’” “I am so grateful for you and ________.” “You and ________ have been on my heart.”)

Respect Co-workers’ Marriages and Family Relationships

• Don’t establish a close working relationship, unless you know his wife and have a positive relationship with her. (I realize this may not be possible in some work environments. But I have found this an enormously helpful principle. The more closely you work with him, the more important this is.)

• Copy his wife on any email communication that relates to personal matters (including spiritual issues). (I can’t emphasize this enough. Email can be an incredibly subtle avenue for inappropriate communication and cultivating “intimacy.”)

• Don’t call him or text him at home. Be considerate—if his wife or a child answers the phone, take time to connect with them before asking to speak with him.

• Be sensitive to periods that he and his wife may not have had a lot of time together, and limit time spent working together accordingly. Exercise the same caution if you have reason to believe there may be tension or stress in his marriage.

• When with the couple, include her in the conversation. If discussing work-related matters, explain what you’re talking about, so she doesn’t feel left out or “in the dark.”

• Show genuine interest in his wife and look for opportunities to bless, serve, and encourage her—birthdays, special occasions, needs you can meet, etc.

• Look for opportunities to minister to them as a couple (and family)—anniversaries, gifts for date nights, etc.

• Be a genuine and loving friend to his wife and children. Show an interest in what interests them.

• If his wife has any concerns or hesitations regarding his relationship with you, get out of the way! Request a transfer or quit your job if necessary. She may be overly sensitive; she may be a “terrible wife.” There may be “nothing going on” between you and her husband. Regardless, it is your responsibility to do everything in your power to encourage and protect their marriage. Do not let yourself become a wedge in his relationship with his wife—for any reason.

Respond to God’s Spirit for Maximum Protection

• Don’t allow a mental, emotional, or spiritual bond between you that is more intimate than what he has with his wife. Ask the Lord to prompt you when you are getting too close.

• Be accountable. Share your “hedges” with one or more close women friends who will commit to ask periodically whether you are maintaining them.

• If you find yourself being tempted mentally or emotionally, share with a mature, female confidant, for purposes of accountability. Don’t wait until you’re in trouble to reach out for help!

• If another believer expresses concern about your relationship with a married man, don’t dismiss their caution. The wise person listens to and heeds counsel!

• Depend on the indwelling Spirit of God to guard your heart, direct your steps, and protect your relationships.

Making it Personal

Write a prayer responding to what you have just read.

• Express your commitment to be pure in your relationships with men (whether married or single).

• Ask God to show you what practical “hedges” need to be in place in your life and to give you grace to maintain those safeguards.

• If you are in a situation where you are vulnerable to temptation or have developed an inappropriate relationship with a man, record what steps you intend to take to obey God and be pleasing to Him in this matter.

• Ask God to guard your heart, to make your life a reflection of the purity and love of Christ, and to help you be a blessing rather than a hindrance to the men around you and to their wives and children.

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My Personal “Hedges”

Make a list of specific “hedges” that you believe need to be in place in your relationships with married men. (Over the years, I have added to and refined my own list. I am still growing and learning in this matter. As you grow, ask the Lord to make you aware of additional “hedges” that may be needed in your life.)

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Remember that these “hedges” are not intended to be a burden, but a blessing—not to put you in prison, but to help protect you and others.

And remember that no list of “rules” can make you holy. Look to Christ—seek to love Him supremely. Be sensitive to the leading of His Spirit. Follow Him. Depend on His grace to guard your heart. He is the one who is able to “keep you from falling” (Jude 24).

“I am convinced that he is able to guard until

that Day what has been entrusted to me. . . .

By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard

the good deposit entrusted to you.”

2 Timothy 1:12, 14

Hayden

My two loves

One of the most beautiful and special things about being a woman in a relationship with a man is when he leads you to the Lord!

I have been blessed by the Lord that He has chosen to give me such a man in Hayden.

There are plenty of amazing things that I could share about him (like the way he makes me laugh or the way he loves my daughter), but the thing that I value the most in him is his passion for the Lord!
His passion for the Lord is what directs him in all the areas of his life and is what helps him to lead me.

One of the ways that I love to learn from him is when he shares what God has placed on his heart during his sermons or when he speaks at church events.

Sunday morning Hayden preached a sermon and I was so blessed by what he shared that I had to share some of it with others. ( I won't even come close to sharing what he shared...but I will simply share with you what the Lord taught me)

His sermon was based out of Philippians 3:7-14. (check out this passage)

He used this passage to encourage and challenge the church to not focus on the things in the past, but to strive towards the future. In order to grow we have to let go of things in our past so that we can fully live out our purpose.

He had the church repeat the phrase, " Let go... and grow"
He shared with us that one of his mentors years ago told him that, "When you change the way you look at things, the thing you look at will change"

So many times we get stuck in our past failures and we live there.
We are afraid to step out in faith and walk where the Lord is leading us because we live in fear.

Hayden's sermon reminded me that God wants us to live in victory! God wants us to strive daily to live out our purpose and not be in chains to fear and worry and anxiety.

Do you know your purpose?
Maybe it is to be a great stay at home mom...
Maybe you have been called to a specific mission field...
Maybe it is to help the homeless...
Maybe it is just to love on others daily and show them the love of God...

Whatever you believe God has purposed you to do while you are here on this earth don't let fear keep you from walking in that purpose!

Hayden challenged everyone to choose a word that would define your year.
He also challenged us to pick a phrase that would go along with that word and a scripture verse that would give him focus for the year.

Hayden's word was- Direct
Hayden's phrase was - I will make my plans, but it is the Lord that directs my steps. (that is a scripture in Psalms)
Hayden's Scripture was Genesis 18:19 " ¹⁹ For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”

I would encourage anyone that reads this to try this out. It is a great way to set a goal for the year that will help you to focus on the Lord! It will really help you to take your eyes off your past and to take hold of what God has for your future!

The Lord wants us to live in victory and freedom!

I am so blessed to be led by this man that loves the Lord and I encourage everyone to come hear a good word from him! You will be blessed beyond measure!


Oh how He loves you and me!

Facebook Envy

A couple days ago I was talking to a friend from work and she was telling me that sometimes it is hard for her to look at Facebook because everyone's life seems so perfect...

She said she just wished that sometimes people would just be honest about life and not paint a pretty picture to make people think that they have everything together.

 

When she said that I could definitely understand what she was talking about.

If I am really honest with everyone that reads this...I know there are times when I have scrolled my news feed and read a status or looked at a picture of a friend and found myself envying something in their post.

You see a picture perfect family and you wish you had what they had...

You see someone who just successfully lost ten pounds during the Thanksgiving break...and you gained ten pounds eating all that pie...

You read about someones child that is so sweet and seemingly perfect...and you recall the afternoon trip to the grocery store when your little one had a melt down in the check out line...

You read about someones amazing relationship...

You see pictures of family vacations....

You see that girl...in that amazing outfit...and that amazing smile....and that amazing life...

Social media definitely helps us to paint a pretty picture of our lives.

The funny thing is that even though we paint this pretty picture...nobody has the perfect life.

We all have challenges, battles and difficulties that nobody really knows about.

But...we still look at the pictures and we read the status updates and we find ourselves envying our friends.

We lose sight of the blessings we have in our own lives.

I know that I have done this in the past. I will be the first to admit this!

I used to see pictures of babies and families...and I would get jealous that I didn't have that yet. Of course I was happy for my friends...but jealousy or envy would creep into my mind.

This morning at church our Sunday School lesson was on envy.

In James 3:13-18 it says that, " Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in our hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness sown in peace by those who make peace."

 

 I love this passage in James because it challenges me!!

I struggle with envy and jealously. If I said I didn't I would be lying.

We all struggle here and God knows that about us.

What James is telling us here is that there is a way out! We don't have to be stuck in jealously and envy.

As we daily seek out the Lord's wisdom and direction in His word we will be able to fight the battles of envy, jealously, pride and any other battle you are facing.

You can win this battle and start to be happy for what others have instead of being jealous.

 

Is this a struggle in your life?

Do you find yourself feeling jealous or envious of what someone else has?

 

I want to challenge you to take one day and only focus on the blessings in your life. If you have to stay off social media for that day then do it for your heart and mind. As you begin to shift your perspective and see all that God has given you it will help to combat those feelings.

Spend a day just thanking God for what you have and see how your heart and mind will begin to change!

 

 

Oh how He loves you and me!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His love...

"Jesus loves me! This I know, for the Bible tells me so!"

Today I was singing this song to Nylah in the car on our way home from daycare.

I was singing the words over and over to try and get her to chime in with me.

As I repeated the words over and over I started to think about what those words meant.

"Jesus loves me."

That phrase hit me really hard when I said it slowly to myself.

"Jesus loves ME."

I have been singing that song since I was a little girl...and it wasn't until today that the words really hit my heart.

As a new parent I struggle every day with feeling like I am not doing enough for my little girl.

Maybe I worry too much...and maybe I put too much pressure on myself...but I want to give her my best.

At the end of each day I go to bed thinking, "I should have done better...or more for her today."

Is this something that all parents think I wonder...?

Some days are just really hard with a full-time job and taking care of all her needs...that by the end of the day I just don't have enough energy to play with her for very long...and I feel so guilty.

Some days I get patience is thin...

Some days I forget to say prayers with her...

...and at the end of those days I feel so heavy.

Today though...God reminded through the lyrics of a simple children's song that He loves me.

The God of this Universe loves me and died for me!

He died so that I could come to Him and ask for forgiveness when I fail and not have to carry the weight and burden of my sins.

I don't know about you...but that overwhelms my heart!

 

Are you struggling with areas in your life that you feel like you keep failing?

Maybe it's your finances...

Maybe it's an area with your spouse, children or a family member...

Maybe you are addicted to something...

Maybe you have hidden sins and you feel fake or ashamed...

 

One of the most beautiful things about Jesus is that He loves us no matter where we have been or what we have done!

We can come to Him, seek His forgiveness and His arms are open wide ready to love us!

Wherever you are at today and whatever you are facing please remember that Jesus loves you!

 

Check out this song...it is a beautiful version of Jesus loves me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8gKXu6J2wE

 

"For God so loved , that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

 

Oh how He loves you and me!

 

Hayden and Mechel

Then

 The picture above is the first picture Hayden and I ever took together. ( I look so young!!!)

 We were both attending a wedding in 2009 and we did not know each other at all. We had mutual friends at the wedding and it did not take long for us to find each other in the crowd of people. I felt an instant connection with him because his personality is so warm and welcoming.

If you know Hayden at all, #1 you are lucky and # 2 you can agree and understand how I felt when I met him. We are both very social and we hit it off that night laughing and talking. I also pulled him on the dance floor a couple times with me :) When it was almost time for everyone to leave I noticed a photographer snapping pictures and I made sure to grab Hayden to take one with me. (he probably thought I was silly) The picture you see above is the picture the photographer took that night. I am so glad we took that pic now! Hayden and I dated for several years until we felt God telling us to part ways for a season.

One of the hardest things to do in life is say goodbye to someone you love because God is asking you to do so.

Neither of us could understand why God would ask this of us...but we knew that we had to be obedient.

Have you ever had a time in your life when you feel God is calling you to take a step that you feel might break you down emotionally?

Maybe you are in that season right now...

Are you afraid to say goodbye to someone that God is telling you not to pursue now?

He can always make me laugh

 As time went on God really began to work on our hearts.

In our season of waiting He began to teach us things.

He began to shape us and mold us individually in ways that wouldn't have worked if we were together. 

He strengthened our hearts and minds in His ways...and not our own.

He taught us about patience, selflessness and mercy.

In this season of waiting Hayden became a Youth Minister and I started fostering Nylah.

God knew that saying goodbye for a season was preparing and strengthening us for a new journey together.

...so happy

 After a season of waiting God brought us back together this year. (YAY!!!)

I have never loved or respected Hayden more than I do now!

His leadership, mercy, patience (he is so patient with me), and love compels me to strive to be a better person each day.

His passion for people and love for the Lord is contagious and inspires me!

His willingness to love Nylah as his own...even though we are not engaged or married makes me cry every time I think about it...(crying now)

His love for family...

His ability to cook the best steak and BBQ chicken I have ever had...

His love for studying the Word of God...and living by it...

 

...and most importantly his ability to lead me to the Lord!

Now

People ask me all the time if we are going to get married.

My response to them now is that we are waiting on God's timing.

As a girl...of course I dream of that day :)

BUT...I have learned that rushing God won't get you anywhere!

I am trusting and believing that as Hayden and I seek out God's will for our lives that His best plan for us will be revealed when the time is right.

For now, we are enjoying the journey of serving the Lord together and raising up Nylah to love Jesus!

 

Are you in a season of waiting?

Do you feel God calling you out of something?

Maybe God is asking you to do something that you are afraid will hurt you?

 

I know from personal experience that obedience can be painful at times....but hang on friends! Don't. Give. Up! God will use your obedience to bless you beyond your wildest dreams!

 

Wherever you are right now...remember that God is going to work all things out for the good! (Romans 8:28)

He tells us that in His Word...and He is faithful!

 

 

Oh how He loves you and me!!!!

 

Love,

Mechel

 



Our Story of forever love

 On 12-1-2014 Nylah Elizabeth Yekzaman officially became my forever love.

So many people have asked me to share a little bit about our story so I thought I would take a few minutes to try and describe what God has done in my life through this little girl.

 In November of 2013 I was sitting at church listening to several people give their testimonies on foster care and adoption. I felt God tugging on my heart strings...but I also felt very inadequate to even think about taking on such a big task.

I told myself there was no way I could do what God was asking of me because I was single, lived in an apartment and worked full-time. I reasoned with myself that the tug on my heart was only me being "emotional" and that it wasn't really God calling me to action.

After church and days later I could not stop thinking about fostering a child. I decided to take the first step and call DHS.

When I called them they told me there was "NO WAY" I could foster a child because I lived in a one bedroom apartment and any child would need their own room.

"Perfect!" I thought...this was my way out! This was my sign from God that He was not calling me to action...just to pray and help out those who were fostering.

Little did I know that God was not saying "NO WAY"...He was saying, "NOT YET".

Months went by and I really began to believe that my duty was just to pray for children in need since I couldn't help them by fostering or adopting.

I thought God had closed the door.

In February 2014 He decided to open the doors in a very unexpected way.

I was sitting at work one afternoon and my good friend Tracy Porter came into my office with one of our coworkers Megan.

Tracy had heard me talk about fostering in the past and she new how much I wanted to one day adopt a baby. Megan had come into Tracy's office that day and asked Tracy if she would be willing to foster her niece who needed a new foster home. Tracy has three children of her own and she knew she could not foster...but she remember me!

Tracy rushed Megan back to my office and when she opened my door the first words out of her mouth were, "Mechel...I found your daughter!"

I wasn't quite sure what she was talking about...until she had Megan explain to me that she was hoping that I would be interested in fostering her little niece.

She told me her name was Nylah.

 

I don't think it happens too often that someone from work randomly asks you to foster a baby...so I took this as a sign from God that He was laying this at my feet.

I wanted to shout from the rooftop...but then I remembered what DHS told me months ago..."NO WAY".

I was still in a one bedroom and Nylah would need her own place to sleep.

I wanted to just throw in the towel and tell Megan no...

I didn't want to call and get rejected again by DHS...

I didn't want to have my hopes rise to the highest levels and then crash at the words of man...

But then I remembered God has a sovereign plan of His own! He placed this at my feet and no matter the outcome...I was called to be faithful.

So the very next day I called Nylah's case worker.

She told me that because Nylah was still under a year old she could keep her crib in my room until she was one and be able to stay with me.

I couldn't believe it!

I knew that God wanted me in this little girl's life and I truly believed that He was going to clear the path.

On March 17th 2014 Nylah was dropped off at my house at 9:47 in the morning.

She has been with me every day since and my heart has never been the same.

I have learned so many lessons during this journey.

I learned that when God closes a door...it doesn't mean that He is closing it for good. God knows what is best for us and His timing is so perfect. In seasons of waiting He is strengthening us in the trust department!

I learned that being a mommy is really hard work! (seriously...props to all the moms with more than one baby...HOW DO YOU DO IT???)

I learned that you shouldn't wear black shirts during runny nose season. (Gross)

I learned that you DON'T get off nap schedule...

I learned that you don't get in a busy check out line at the grocery store before baby has had her dinner...(lesson learned my friends!)

I learned that children are so pure and don't hold a record of wrongs.

I learned the true meaning of "being a parent is hard work".

I learned that my family and friends are the most supportive and selfless people on the planet.

I learned that there was a man who was willing to love me and love Nylah as his own. His name is Hayden Young! God has restored and renewed our relationship and I am so in awe each time I see him love and care for my sweet girl!   

I also learned and appreciated on a deeper level the beauty of being adopted as a daughter of the King. God chooses us and redeems us to Himself as adopted sons and daughters!

 

Are you in a season of waiting?

Has God closed the door on something you believed He was calling you to?

I want to encourage anyone that reads this that you should use this season of waiting to grow your faith and press in to the Lord. It doesn't mean that He will open the door...but by pressing in...He will give you the strength you need to get through anything!

Is God calling you to do something and you don't feel adequate?

Friends...none of us are able to do things in our own strength. Take the step of faith with the Lord's help and He will carry you through!

 

"Call to Me and I will answer and tell you great and hidden things that you have not known" Jeremiah 33:3

 

Oh how He loves you and me!