It Is Well With My Soul

I love old hymns! One of my personal favorites is called, "It Is Well With My Soul" Today, as I was sitting outside doing my quiet time, my mind started to reflect back to the lyrics of that song. When peace like a river attendeth my way; When sorrow like sea billows roll. Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say It is well with my soul. Those words kept swirling around in my mind over and over!!!!!! The last line especially began to resonate deep inside my heart. So much so that I began to cry..really hard. You know...the ugly kind of cry...eek! As I repeated that phrase over and over I began to wonder if I was just singing the words to sing them, or if I really believed what I was saying. The reason for my doubt was because in the midst of my current circumstances and all of the hurt I have seen in so many people in the last month, I wondered if it was all really well with my soul..... After returning from Africa I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around all the hurt I saw and then still confidently proclaim those words. Serving at the homeless mission and seeing the searing pain in the eyes of someone who has lost everything; I continued to struggle with the idea. As dear friends call me for prayer over situations and circumstances in life that are full of pain and loss; my mind questions how well all of this could really be with my soul. To be honest, I found myself admitting that it was not well with my soul, my heart, or any part of me. Period! I didn't even know I was feeling this way until I spoke to a dear friend last night about the loss of a loved one. In the middle of a tear-filled prayer I found myself thinking, "why does this have to happen to her" After we got off the phone my heart began to ache. I thought back to all the men, women and children I had met in the last month who were suffering. I had prayed, cried, and loved on them as much as I could; and yet I still felt so empty inside knowing that I couldn't take away their pain!!!! I have stared into the eyes of a child who has blistered feet from walking with no shoes. I have held a small girl whose face is covered in open wounds, which were due to the evil act of an abusive mother. I have held the hand of a woman who is weeping over the failures in her life that have led her to live in a shelter. I have offered the most tender hug I could give to a young woman whose mother had just died of Aids... For each of these people and many more...my heart aches! I have begged the Lord on their behalf that He would deliver them!!! Today, as I sat singing those words and wiping away tears of sadness and doubt; I began to feel His Spirit remind me of a truth that I was forgetting. He gently reminded me that it is not my job to fix the hurts of the people. IT IS HIS JOB! I am not able to heal people's hearts. ONLY HE IS ABLE!!! I will never understand why things happen. BUT HE KNOWS!!!! I realized that I was so burdened that I couldn't do more to help, and I was even starting to wonder when God was going to show up and deliver His children. I was frustrated because "I" was trying to fix things and because "I" wanted to take the pain away. "I" was obviously the problem! Thankfully the Spirit of God rushed over me and reminded me that "HE" was in control! He sees the hurts of His people and He knows the depth of pain they feel. His Spirit is upon the face of this earth reaching out to His children. We will always have pain and suffering in this world; but lovingly and graciously He left us with the help we need to make it through anything. I can't take away the pain, but I can offer love and compassion. He and HE alone will do the rest! I believe that that's what that song meant. In times of peace or in times of suffering He is teaching us. He is teaching us to say that even when things seem out of our grasp, HE alone is in control! And with that promise from Him I can assuredly say that with Him it is well with my soul. Oh how He loves you and me!!!!! (P.S. I didnt get to spell check this or the last blog...just letting everything know :)