Have you ever had one of those days when you look in the mirror and think, " ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" ?????(you know that loud scream that occurs in your brain)
I mean its not that you hate what you see(or maybe you do) but it's just that sometimes you are not very satisfied with the reflection that is staring back at you.
You start to put your makeup on...
you start to mess with your hair....
you begin to poke and prod on wrinkles and blemishes(I hate the word zit..yuck)
and then, before you know it...BAM! The stinking mirror has convinced you that you are not the fairest of them all!
I have to be honest and say that I used to listen to my reflection a lot!!!!
I used to think that the girl staring back at me really knew what she was talking about.
She was very good at convincing me that I just didn't look...well...good enough.
Not only did I have to deal with the girl in the mirror, I also had to deal with the hundreds of pictures, images and even friends that I felt looked better than me.
I am not going to say that I was in a constant state of comparrison; but I admit that there were at least 4 or 5 times a day when I would look at someone or something that would lead me to feel feelings of inferiority.
I mean why wouldn't I???
People were always telling me things like:
"you are so short! You could be a midget!"
"you have teeth like a rat"
"you have a different nose..." (and we all know what "different" means in that context)
There were several other things that I can remember hearing that didn't quite seem to match up with what I was seeing in the magazines or on TV.
And then every night and every morning I was geeted by the lady in the mirror who would affirm exactly what I had been hearing and seeing all day.
My reflection started to get harder and harder on me!
Until one day I gave her a pretty good stare down and literally told her to shut up!
(okay before you think I am a crazy person..which some of you already know I am crazy...just not crazy crazy(okay I am making this worse)I was just speaking out loud to myself if you didn't get that)
Moving on....
After so many years of trying to live up to a standard set by mere men and women, who themselves couldn't possibly even live up to their own standards; I finally had had enough!
I realized a few things:
1. my hair was never going to be bleach blonde(I'm half Persian....yep...blonde just aint gonna happen)
2.Acne is a part of life.
3.My nose is not small
4.I am never going to be tall(however I did look into leg enhancements..just kidding...but seriously)
There were several other things that I started to realize, and the reason for all of this was due to my understanding of true love.
For so long I thought I had to look the part for so many people..including my reflection.
It never clicked in my brain that I was trying to look perfect in order to gain the approval of people who were in fact imperfect themselves.
I don't mean that in a rude way at all; but I think it is important for those of us who struggle with trying to live up to someone else's standards to see that those standards are made by people who probably struggle just like us!
The people that we view as beautiful or better than us, probably look at someone else and wish that they could look like them too.
So on the day that I told my reflection to shut up, I had been thinking about all of this.
I mean...it just wasn't making sense anymore!
I was tired of trying so hard and never feeling better.
I began to read Scriptures on the way that God loved me and viewed me.
I began to focus on the fact that He was perfect and that He had no set standards for the way that I was supposed to look...He thought I was lovely! (even with no makeup on)
I wrote scriptures on sticky notes that helped to remind me of His love for me and placed them all over my mirror.
and little by little the image that I was seeing in the mirror began to change!
It wasn't easy at first...but over time I realized that the God's love and acceptance of me for who I was, was the only thing I cared to measure myself by anymore.
That "shut up" moment in my life happened two years ago today!
I wish that I wouldn't have had to struggle with those feelings for so long, but I know that He uses everything we go through to bring Him glory!
My hope is that this story will help someone else to see that God's love offers you something you something so precious!
It offers you the truth in knowing that you are beautifully and wonderfully made...no matter what!!!!!
Even if this is something you conquer there are going to be days where you feel down or upset( we are human)
But the important thing to remember is that God's love has the power to transform our minds and show us that in His sight we are priceless..NOT worthless!
Next time you look in the mirror and you hear your reflection screaming at you...
squint your eyes
purse you lips
raise your eyebrow
and say...
Mirror, mirror on the wall the Lord says I am lovely and that's all that matters!
I don't know where you at today or what you are struggling with...but I know that Jesus does.
Spend time reading in His Word about the way that He loves you and watch in amazement how His words can bring your heart comfort and unlock the chains of bondage to set you free!
Oh how He loves you and me!!!!!
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